So close, just a little deeper.

It’s been a long time. I’ve been interested in hypnosis for a long long time. I’ve blogged a couple of times about some mp3’s that I’ve used. Some have been good, some haven’t. It’s kind of difficult for me with regard to recordings. I am a great candidate for hypnosis when you look at the guidelines. I get lost in movies or shows, I can concentrate, I zone out on the highway. All those things that good subjects are supposed to do. However, there are a couple downfalls. I can’t let go, and I am constantly monitoring myself to see if “it’s happening”. The thought of giving up and going into trance, letting go.. it’s what I want, and I want it so much, that I’m watching myself while trying to trance to see it happen. The other problem is interruptions. I never have enough time to get through a session before the phone rings, time to go, email arrives, messages, kids, dog, etc. etc. etc.

The best possible solution would be to be hypnotised in person. However, the problem with that is finding some, trusting someone, and/or having to pay someone. I don’t really have any access to any of these things at the moment, with life being the way it is. With that, they would be able to work with the type of subject that I am. If I had a friend who was into hypno, I would try it, see how things panned out..

But here we are.. mp3’s and websites. So lately (past month and a half or so) I’ve been working with this one mp3, trying to listen once a day, trying to get it to work. It’s erotic hypnosis with a little fdhypno in it, but hey, it’s fun. I continue to have the same issues. Until now. I found a meditation clip, with binaurals, that’s supposed to be used on its own. I have been playing it in the background while listening to this other erotic hypnosis mp3. I’ve used it twice so far, and I’ve gone further than I ever have. I think there are 2 parts to this. Since there is so much to focus on, I have to let go of monitoring myself. It’s kind of like a 7, +/- 2 thing. I’ve got the hypnosis track with voice, then I have the meditation track with the binaural – theta, wave sounds, some drum and a little bit of melody. Thinking about paying attention to all those things, mostly on the melody, has helped me go deeper during the session. Today was the first time that I felt like I was sinking when going deeper. It felt like you do when you get on an elevator and move one floor down. All the while I kept fighting the urge to monitor myself by continuing to focus on the melody. I also kept telling myself to let go, let go, let go. I was doing really well, until the phone rang.. twice. Then I was called on the nextel.. oye. Brought me right up and out.. Bummer!!!  But I was so close, next time I’ll do the same thing and go deeper.. and deeper.. and deeper…

 

Clearing The Smoke

The smoke is starting to clear, and there’s light at the end of the tunnel. I just found a post that I never published. It was a short one about missing the bus, but it’s part of me, so I published it. Now, I’m here to vent a little on the positive. I don’t want to seem all down in the dumps all the time, I would like to venture into other topics.

Things are getting better all around. The job situation is clearing up and perhaps there’s advancement in my future. The home life is shaping up. I have given myself a break. I made lots of decisions, some good, some not so good. I’ve decided that the ones that were not so good were made with the tools and options I had at the time. Can’t go back and change things. As always, I continue to move forward.

Each day, things get better. I’m thankful for that.

 

A day late and a dollar short. Always. – Never Published

It seems to me that I’ve either been born 10 years too late, or 10 years too early. I would have fit much better in the previous generation. I can see myself there, working corporate in the 80’s/90’s . A young engineer, coming up the ranks, learning, working, on the edge of technology and development. It would have suited me just fine. OR, if I was 10 years younger, when, apparently, it’s cool to be smart and a nerd (not that I was pocket protector nerdy, but smarter than the average). All of a sudden it’s sexy if you have half a brain, girls are more into it, and there’s a different dialogue going on between the sexes now. I’ve missed fashion trends, cultural changes, technology, financial offerings.. you name it. I’m either too late or too early, hardly right on time. That’s so annoying! Ahh well, I’ll just keep on keepin’ on.

Forgiveness

I’m having a seriously hard time with forgiveness. With everything that’s been going on in my life recently, the focus has come back on myself. I can’t seem to forgive myself for the decisions I have made in my life that haven’t always had good results. I take responsibility for these decisions, but I don’t like the outcomes. “Why did I do that?” Seems to be a concurring question that pops into my head. Hindsight is 20/20.. yeah, that’s wonderful. No matter how sharp your vision, what’s done is now done. I try to move on and learn from these mistakes, but if something new happens or even if there’s some downtime, and I start reflecting on where I’ve come from, these things come creeping back. It drives me crazy, and I can’t let it go. I’m on a constant uphill battle, fixing all the problems I’ve created, sometimes with just a bandaid, sometimes with more turmoil. Now that I have a wife and family, it seems that I’ve only involved more people in the equation.

Tedeschi Trucks Band

Stop me if you’ve heard this story. So there I was one night, late, up watching TV.. probably feeding the baby. I was flipping through and saw Jay Leno, so I stopped for a quick stay. The musical guest was up, and usually it’s a train wreck of a group, so I decided to stick around. Then they started.. was good, was a funky cool rock bluesy groove. I liked it. From there I started looking up Tedeschi Trucks. I hadn’t realized these people already had careers, and successful ones at that. Husband and wife team working together.. with 9 other musicians.. including 2 drummers. Very cool. Susan is so soft spoken in her interviews, but man, when she sings.. she is SO soulful. Incredible. Their songs really make you feel, and really pull at your emotions. Whatever they want you to feel, they hit every time. They say they’re all about the sound of the group and not to promote one person in the band, and I believe it. I would love to see them live to see how they sound and where they go with their music. Revelator is their album and I threw one of their songs in my 30 Day Song Challenge.. but jeeze, they could have landed a couple spots on that list. Midnight in Harlem and Learn How to Love are probably my favorite tracks. I hope we hear more from them in the future. So good.. it’s like candy for my ears.

Post-Bomb Family Life

Nope. Not talking about a third world terrorist plot. These terrorists live right next door. Just kidding. Point is, I dropped the bomb. My parents were just pushing and pushing and I couldn’t take anymore. So I yelled at them.. a first for me.. and have elected to change their role in my family. For too long we’ve let them have too many liberties in our foursome. It’s not really supposed to be a sixsome. I’m learning that.. it’s hard when you’ve been raised by the village. They’re a resistant bunch, they are. They’ll get it though.. sooner or later, hopefully sooner, with fewer scars. Gotta maintain strength. As the weeks pass, things will become new, better, improved. If not, I’ll just have to drop the hammer again. I’m starting to like this. Up next.. the wife.

 

 

30 Day Song Challenge – Day 30

Day 30 – a song you were listening to this time last year. This one is easy, and actually the reason I did this whole song challenge. In some convoluted way, this is how I found out about this challenge, but I’ll be damned if I can remember it. Anyway, I did love this song last year and I still do. It has a great beat and bass line, and some of the harmonies they bust out are sweet like sugar. Love it. Enjoy.